Mad Wag

Pope Denounces Harry Potter

2005-07-20T18:36:00.000-07:00

You have to wonder when you read things like that. This article points to several things:
1) The new Pope is a fundie nutbag who will send the Catholic Church spiralling back to the Middle Ages, except he won't have so much power. This will turn off a lot of Democratic Catholics who will either leave the church or complain bitterly -- or both.

2) There must not be a whole lot of other world issues to rant about. Never mind the senseless deaths in Iraq...

3) There are several sites that say that J.K, Rowling is a witch who is espousing her own doctrine in the books. How the hell would any good Christian know that?

4) Again, as a corollary to number 3, why would anyone think that the Harry Potter books are corrupt or cause problems with a relationship to God? Did they start to experience a spiritual crisis while reading it?

Of course, before anyone starts frothing at the mouth, be warned that the media is trying to sensationalize all this. It was just a series of letters, referring to a book that the Pope had received (while still Cardinal). No official announcements have been made by the Vatican concerning Harry Potter.

And, to play Old Scratch's advocate, a deal with the devil just might account for the series' popularity...

Revenge of the Sith – A review

2005-07-11T19:36:00.000-07:00

By now, unless you live under a rock, or have no interest in the subject matter, or are unfortunate enough to be paired up with someone who doesn’t like movies, you’ve probably seen Star Wars 3: Revenge of the Sith.

All six Star Wars movies are supposed to take place a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. The first three chronicle the rise and fall of Anakin Skywalker, who would sire both Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa, both of whom would bring about the fall of the Empire that Anakin helped build as Darth Vader. Got that? Good.

My first observation is that Lucas could have made Anakin’s conversion to the Dark Side a little more…um…obvious. He is about to slay Darth Sidious/Senator Palpatine for being an evil Sith Lord, Sidious says a few words, and all of a sudden Anakin hates the Jedi. Okay. Um, yeah. I’ve heard all the fanboy arguments, including the interview that says that the second movie built up Palpatine buttering up Anakin’s already massive ego, and trying to make him believe he’s better than his masters. Alright. I can sort of buy that. But the conversion was too quick, too easy, a mere footnote in the third film.

I would have written it thusly

First movie: The Enemy Within: Anakin is born to normal parents (no virgin birth here), who raise him as best they can while being slaves to the criminal Hutts. We see a half hour of his life as a boy, the horrors of slavery (no pod race), and Obi-Wan spirits Anakin, now a young man, off-planet to become a Jedi. The rest of the movie focuses on foiling the Trade Federation’s war on Naboo (I really don’t know why – I would have written some other nastiness they would have to stop). Anakin’s rise & fall would start here. And his romance with Padme would begin with this movie. Obviously, Palpatine, masquerading as a Senator while being a Sith Lord, would be the Enemy Within.

Second Movie: Doppelganger: Anakin foils an assassination attempt on Padme, and kills the would-be assassin, thus giving in to his anger. How many would question Yoda’s words: “Anger leads to the Dark Side.” From there, wrestling with moral questions such as is it wrong to kill a killer, and anger management issues, and encounters with Senator Palpatine/Darth Sidious would make this more believable. And, the bulk of this movie would be the discovery of the Republic’s secret clone army. Again, I probably would have written it differently, such as people getting body parts chopped off, replaced by a clone’s body parts, and another deep moral question: Are clones people, too? In this way, the Republic would be plunged into a bloody civil war, with armed opponents on both sides of the issue. The Doppelganger would not only refer to a clone, but also to a ghostly double (Anakin’s evil side), as Dostoevsky would have it.

Third Movie: Rise of the Sith: Played as written, so that the horror of Vader’s acts could be seen in the light of the first two movies. When he chops up children, when he slaughters the Jedi Council, all of that could have been made believable by using the first two movies as a more effective backdrop. If you really wanted to, you could have combined the first two movies into one movie, expanding it to 3+ hours and eliminating the “big plots,” maybe having them discover these plots too late to stop them. Senator Palpatine dissolving the Senate is silly, considering the scene in A New Hope where Tarkin and the others are discussing the transfer of power from the Senate to the military governors on each planet. Duh.

Now that you know what I thought was wrong with the whole next series, let me tell you what was right. The third movie was definitely not on par with any of the original trilogy, unless you count Return of the Jedi, which should have been scrapped and redone altogether – including yet another Death Star, a nice guy Han Solo, a Jedi Luke Skywalker, cute fuzzy Ewoks, and a kindly old Darth Vader. Revenge of the Sith, despite the silly title, was dark. Suitably dark for my jaded tastes. George Lucas had some help on this one, so perhaps that was what made it right. It had all the right elements, all the darkness, a non-whiny more angry Anakin. And there was nary a boring moment, where there seemed to be too much so with the other movies. It was good enough to be a Star Wars film, and a worthy entry to the Star Wars canon. I just wish it had enough of a back story to make the franchise itself respectable.

Terrorist Attacks Do Little to Promote Terror

2005-07-09T18:16:00.000-07:00

By now, unless you live in a cave, you've probably heard of the bombings in London. But an interesting article I read really shows the British character.

From the Seattle Post Intelligencer:
"As Brits, we'll carry on - it doesn't scare us at all," said tour guide Michael Cahill, 37. "Look, loads of people are walking down the streets. It's Great Britain - not called 'Great' for nothing."

To me, that's impressive. Oh, for certain there are people worried. You'd be foolish not to be. There's concern and grief over those wounded or dead. But there's more of a pull-together attitude than the U.S. showed during that time.

Where George Bush gave his "we'll kick their asses" speech, Tony Blair gave a speech urging people not to blame the Muslims, and how they abhor the violence as much as anyone.

Of course, an attack on British soil is nothing new. Hitler, the IRA, all of them have left their mark on a people who refuse to be pushed around.

Justice Is Not Only Blind and Deaf, it's Also Mute

2005-07-08T19:01:00.000-07:00

I love this "Global Gag" policy that Bush reinstated once he was sworn in again in 2004. It's that whole "we can't talk about abortion or AIDS" thing. A conservative told me that handing out condoms to students is like handing them a loaded gun. I personally think that with nothing to dissuade them, they're going to have sex anyway, despite the risks. Why not lower the risk? Teaching abstinence is bull anyway -- God gave us a gift...should we then deny that gift? Wouldn't that, then, be the real sin?

I don't agree that abortion is the answer, except in extreme cases that would cause homelessness, crime, molestation or rape babies, etc.

Personally, I think the burden falls on the parents of teaching their kids responsibility. If the parents fail, it falls to our public education system. I don't believe welfare pregnancy is a crime, but it can be a problem if the people are deliberate milking the system. Teaching other countries responsibility and making family planning services available should just make the world a nice place to live, one would think.

I guess it's all part of Bush's "make every country hate us" plan.

God Hates Fags? Re-read Genesis 19, Folks!

2005-07-07T20:13:00.000-07:00

God Hates Fags? Re-read Genesis 19, Folks!

Now this is absolutely hilarious, and scary -- because it's all true. If the Bible is the one literal irrefutable word of God, then God is saying something here that most people just don't want to hear. God doesn't hate fags. He hates heterosexual, non-kinky, non-incestuous human beings!

Let the hate mail begin!

High-Stakes Tests Spur Pupils to Pass

2005-07-05T16:23:00.000-07:00

High-stakes tests spur pupils to pass

That is something that is really different to me. I grew up taking tests that were essentially meaningless. They tracked your progress, some questions were exactly the same from year to year, and there was no studying for them -- you just took them.

Now I hear that kids are being held back, and I think maybe it's a good idea? I knew there were kids who got diplomas who should have gotten nothing but a boot in the behind. On the other hand, the article does cite that there are kids who are taller and older than their peers, and they get frustrated and drop out.

I dunno. On one hand, you want our kids -- our future -- to graduate college actually knowing how to read and write and do higher-level math. On the other hand, if your kids aren't so bright, if they have learning disabilities, wouldn't it make sense to have programs in place to deal with them, as well? To help them succeed? Even though my performance has been excellent on standardized tests , they don't quite make the grade in my book.

Spawn v.s. the Charmed Ones

2005-07-03T13:26:00.000-07:00

I was watching Spawn, the animated series the other day, and after I finished, I realized why I liked it so much more than the undressed ladies of the TV show Charmed, or Buffy, or any of that. Spawn is a lot darker than those shows, and has a lot more complexities to it than "something comes out of hell and I beat it back, there, I'm done."

Spawn's hero is not one of bright colors, and in fact he is a darker hero than Batman ever could be. Al Simmons was a soldier, burnt to a crisp by his own men, who were just following orders. Because he was such an effective and merciless killer, he was sent to Hell, where he struck a deal with the devil to return to Earth, so he could see his wife again. He returned, but in his burnt charred form, shackled to a costume forged in Hell that is not entirely under his control -- A Hellspawn. He lives in an alley. He finds his sanctuary in an abandoned church. There is a friend of his, a former Hellspawn, who tries to help him regain his humanity. He kills those who are evil, those who trespass in his alley, but every life he takes brings him closer to losing his soul to Hell.

It's got intrigue as well, as Wanda, Al's ex-wife, is now married to Terry Fitzgerald, who is working for the National Security Council. The NSC is headed by the man who gave the order to kill Al, Jason Wynn. Terry eventually finds out that Jason Wynn is a traitor of the highest order, and Wynn makes it a priority to silence Terry, who goes into hiding until he can finally take down Wynn.

Spawn is a sympathetic character, because he does good, even misguidedly. He is a tortured soul, who is consumed by thoughts of his wife, and the moments he spends watching her from afar, or talking with Wanda & Terry's daughter, are poignant. It's not for everyone, obviously, and the ones I watch are unrated, which means "truly grisly." Still, it's more compelling, and has a lot more heart, than the Dragnet-inspired Law & Order.

Sygate is Junkware

2005-07-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

I was looking at some security websites, and once again I find that Sygate has been given a positive review. This is bunk.

Now, maybe it's undergone rigorous testing by security professionals...or maybe, just maybe, someone has stock in Sygate.

Let's look at a basic, rather sad fact. About the only way I can test firewalls is by going to grc.com (Shields Up!) and "testing my shields," or to other websites that do the same thing. Awhile ago, when I was looking for a good, free firewall to protect me from the evils of the 'Net that are everpresent on broadband, one of those I tried is Sygate's firewall. I tested my new install at Sygate's site that they have set up. It said everything was a-okay, and that I was hidden from the 'Net. I went to grc.com and tried the same thing, and it told me I had ports open. Not only that, but it drastically reduced my browsing speed. If I dropped it, I was a lot faster. I dumped that load of crap in a hurry.

Later, I was trying out ZoneAlarm, good ol' ZoneAlarm, and I cruised over to Sygate's firewall tester to see what kind of reading I might get. Well, Sygate said I was vulnerable. Grc.com tested ZA and told me I was stealthed. Hmmm...

How to account for this? Well, first of all, Steve Gibson (owner of grc) doesn't make firewalls. Sygate does. It would be painfully easy to make a firewall transmit a unique signature back to the home server of the company. Once this signal was received, then the user is directed to a webpage that displays a false positive. Any other firewall (which doesn't transmit anything) gets directed to a false negative. Pretty crappy, eh? I won't use a firewall that resorts to such deception, and neither should anyone else.

Of course, ZoneAlarm is not without its bugs, either. The Pro version locked me out of the internet, uninstalling the free version made it so my machine wouldn't boot until I manually removed a "vsdata.vxd" entry from the registry. ZoneAlarm has also allegedly been hacked numerous times.

I'll be trying other free firewalls in an attempt to find one that works. I'll keep everyone posted.

Lost Liberty Hotel

2005-07-01T17:31:00.000-07:00

This is funny as hell. Normally, I don't make it a practice to laugh at people's misfortunes, but this I just had to post about.

Takes the concept of "eminent domain" to a new level.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

2005-06-30T05:01:00.000-07:00

The police in my area have decided, in their infinite wisdom, to bust the myth that going 5 miles over the speed limit means that you're safe. So they've started cracking down on "speeders" that are going 1 mile over the speed limit. I wonder what it would be like if cops actually stopped people who really deserve it, like the idiots who turn directly in front of emergency vehicles (are they trying to cause a T-bone accident?), or the losers who feel the need to share their music with your internal organs (you can listen to any music you want, as long as I don't have to hear it -- that includes vibrations). Pull those people over, and you'll not only fill quotas, but it'd be a nicer world.

But that would be too easy...

Bush's Speech in Focus

2005-06-29T20:26:00.000-07:00

I will freely admit: I didn't watch the President's twaddle about Iraq Tuesday. I read it online. I figured that way I'd be less tempted to escape the monotony and lies through sleep.

Some people tallied the buzzwords in his speech. The results can be found here.

But I now have a few questions. I knew that Bush would again try to relate Iraq to the attack on U.S. soil that downed the Twin Towers. That came as no surprise to me. He has always tried and always failed to rationalize why we're there, dying.

There was an assassination attempt on Bush Sr. by Iraqi intelligence. This would probably would make junior angry. Revenge: is that why we're there?
Bush's money comes from oil. There's oil in Iraq. Is that why we're there?
Another reason we're there: we are a wartime economy nation. Wars are good for the economy, historically.
Is it a smokescreen for an attempt to blame multi-millionaire bin Laden, and perhaps an angry threat from the bin Ladens threatening to cut business ties if Dubya didn't stop?

There are no Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq (yet another buzzword). In the words of your father, George, read my lips. The 911 commission, despite having a report censored by Dubya, has said that Iraq has nothing to do with the events on Sept 11th, 2001. Why does he continue to spout that old, tired, discredited line? Senator Joseph Biden (D) has been to Iraq and says those Iraqi troops are nowhere near ready, despite Bush's assertion that they are. Biden also seems to indicate that there is a lack of interest in support troops from the U.N., France, Egypt, and Jordan, all of whom have offered troops. Our tax dollars have also, somehow, not made it over there.

So, we're off to fight the terrorists. Even if there are terrorists in Iraq now, many of these attacks are coming from terrorists that weren't there before our invasion. The same thing happened in Afghanistan when the Soviets had troops there. After an invasion where their government had been overthrown by non-Muslims who embarked on a counter-insurgency campaign, foreign troops came in to repel the Russians, and the Taliban took over. The Afghanis preferred the Taliban over the Russkis. Is this starting to sound disturbingly familiar? Let me repeat: an invasion (in Iraq), government overthrown (Saddam Hussein ousted), non-Muslims (Americans), counter-insurgency campaign (us in Iraq)...

The thrash band Megadeth was right: "Military intelligence; two words combined that can't make sense."

"There have been virtually no oversight hearings about what is going on in Iraq," says Biden. This is disturbing in and of itself. Are there only an elite few who know what the score is over there? Long ago, we were told that if we didn't fight communism abroad, we would have to fight it here. I have yet to see one Chinese aiming a gun in my direction. Nor do I see the Communist Party leading in the polls here. Bush is again using this line with regards to the terrorists. Citing Gen. John Vines: "We either deal with terrorism and this extremism abroad, or we deal with it when it comes to us.”

We need Superman to come back, and restore some truth and justice to the American Way.

Post a Secret Online

2005-06-28T21:23:00.000-07:00

For anyone who doesn't think that the World Wide Web changes the way in which we relate to the world, they need to read this. From PostSecret:

"You are invited to anonymously contribute your secrets to PostSecret. Each secret can be a regret, hope, funny experience, unseen kindness, fantasy, belief, fear, betrayal, erotic desire, feeling, confession, or childhood humiliation. Reveal anything - as long as it is true and you have never shared it with anyone before."

To me, this is odd, to say the least. Why would I share a secret with a total stranger; much less with the knowledge that he would post it, so millions more strangers may see for themselves the dark spot on my soul? Of course, it works. Many people have sent their deepest darkest secrets to PostSecret and they just keep coming, I guess.

Another way that the 'Net has changed us is the fact that I have spent time looking at these secrets. It was somewhat like a train wreck: You cannot bear to look, but you cannot turn away. I was somewhat compelled to read at least a few of them, and many of them are very harsh, very messed up. A few are meant to be funny and lighthearted, but there are molestations and other horrible, horrible things on that page. It makes me want to take a shower, somehow...

The Spriggan Mirror

2005-06-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

This is a really cool idea. A little backstory: for months (maybe years) I had a book in my possession called The Misenchanted Sword, by Lawrence Watt-Evans. It almost seemed farcical, and things like Robert Asprin's "Myth" series and Piers Anthony's "Xanth" just don't do anything for me. They're funny for a little bit, then they peter out and I put the book down and go do something else. Contrast this with Monty Python movies, which, no matter how often I watch, I still find them funny.

Anyway, when I finally picked up The Misenchanted Sword, I loved it. I couldn't put it down. I went and searched for other books in the Ethshar series and bought up the old (out of print books). As new Ethshar books came out, such as The Spell of the Black Dagger and Night of Madness, I eagerly devoured them, as well. They're wonderful, light-hearted, character-driven stories, with strange obstacles standing in the protagonist's way and a logical but unexpected climax.

Well, I know there are doubtless other fans who buy his stuff as well. Sadly, his Ethshar series doesn't sell as well as his more serious fantasy. So, after his new publishing house was disappointed with the sales of his last two Ethshar novels, they refused to publish any more. But, along with mine, there are many voices clamoring for a new Ethshar novel...

So here's the deal: Watt-Evans obviously needs money in order to eat. Fair enough. So, if he's going to bang out another Ethshar novel, he needs money. He is conducting an experiment: for every $100 he receives in donations, he will write another chapter of his new novel, The Spriggan Mirror, and post it online, for moochers to read for free. He has it paid up through July, so far, and probably the money keeps pouring in. $15 is what it takes to receive a copy of the novel; if he gets paid enough to finish it, he'll have it printed through a small publisher. It looks as if he will finish.

So, I guess what I'm saying is: Donate! Even better, if you have the funds, donate in my name so I can get a copy of the novel for free. I mean, I can always read it online (and have been), but there's nothing that can quite compare to turning the pages in a real book, smelling that newly printed smell.

If you're tired of dozen-book epics like the Waste of Time series; if you're tired of evil dark lord Sauron rip-offs and cocksure epic heroes; if you haven't experienced Lawrence Watt-Evans yet, give The Spriggan Mirror a try. You owe it to yourself.

Pulling Teeth

2005-06-26T17:48:00.000-07:00

Sort of a slow weekend, except for an emergency room visit and a family crisis. We tried to go to a Renaissance Faire in a small community south of us on Saturday, and it wasn't as good as it could have been. We were buzzing on memories of the St Louis Ren Faire, and were hyped to see another. There were vendors hawking their wares who looked more like something out of the Civil War than medieval/renaissance merchants. And it was fucking hot! It was something like 95+ degrees, plus 65% humidity, which made even breathing difficult for a man who's from a state where flowers start blooming in January because the weather is so mild. A few steps and we were drenched in sweat. The ladies didn't want to move from a spot in the shade, but I went and saw a quick bout using a variety of different fencing weapons. So at least I got to see some fighting, which is part of the fun of one of these kinds of fairs. If you haven't gone to see one, then by all means go, if costumes and accents and accoutrements from 500-1000 years ago entice you. Local page websites and papers should have listings.

And Sunday we were going to have chicken and salad inside pita bread, as a low-heat alternative for dinner on a *really* hot day. It didn't happen, as putting up a gazebo and a portable pool outside tended to eat up all of our available time, again in 95 degree heat and monstrous humidity. Of course, we should have started before late afternoon...

So Jimmy John's was on the menu, and I found a menu online. Which is a plus, but their website...ugh! Cue rant here: having to suffer through a lot of Flash, with little substance was part of it. Flash takes awhile to load even on broadband, and if you're going to use it, at least make it usable. When I wanted to find our local one, I was taken to a screen to type things in, but where I supposed to type looked like an image -- there were no appropriate visual cues (like fields). Thankfully, I was able to simply click through a map and find a shop, but it was still like pulling teeth.

Speaking of which, my dinner's here -- and I'm hungry. Ciao!

Blessings in Disguise

2005-06-24T20:13:00.000-07:00

At this point I am compelled to put in something positive. Like a lot of you readers, who are at this point fictional (but if you one day decide to become real then I may get a spot in People magazine too, and get an article that is just as shallow as Jason Mulgrew's), I work 9 hours a day -- 8 hours + 1 hour for lunch. I put up with anything from long hours of boredom looking for something to do, to long hours of actually doing something. Don't get me wrong -- I love my job, I love the people who decided to actually *give* me the job, and I love the kind of rogues I'm working for. I love the idea that I actually have the ear of the President of the company and work directly for the Vice President. But it's been a long hard road there...

You see, before I was gainfully employed, I was at the whims of cruel fate, as a temp agency took me from job to job, each of which I was ideally UNsuited for. But I needed a job, as I have a wife and child. So what did I do? Did I desert this sinking ship like a drowning rat? No! I was held by my tail and thrown overboard. I was on an assignment in another town that I was patently unfamiliar with. My advisor wanted everyone to have his/her own transportation. So far, so good. However, he gave me the number of a guy who I could potentially carpool with. Are you following this okay? Now, because of the first rule, he wanted everyone to have their own transportation, he fired me -- even though he was the guy who suggested I carpool in the first place. Figure that one out.

Well, it turns out that someone up there was looking out for me. It was Christmas time, and I was trying to solve the problem of how to get presents for everyone and pay my bills, and with the crap job that I had just lost, it wouldn't have been easy even if I'd stayed employed. Enter another temp agency. Or, rather, RE-enter. I had signed up with them before, only to find nothing. I suspect some shuffling had taken place, since I didn't know the woman who called me, nor did I know the desk clerk. Shortly after I got canned, they gave me a call. And after a phone interview (because, again, this version of the staff had never met me), I was told it looked as if I could do "anything," and that she would make it her work that afternoon to find me something by the next day. I came by to do some skills testing, which I had never done there before, and they placed me at a temp-to-hire job in the same town in which I live, for more money. I wouldn't be working til Jan 3, but how could I refuse?

I was told up-front by my boss that very likely it would just be temporary, and once the project I was assigned to ended I would end up unemployed again. I'm happy to say that on the very day I intended to ask about my future there I was offered a chance to work for the company directly -- with 401k, benefits, the works. So I'm extremely grateful for that. I owe the temp agency who gave me a chance, I owe the supervisor who put up with me, and I owe the rest of them a debt I cannot repay. I even owe the guy who fired me. And every time I forget this, every time I drag my sorry butt home after a grueling day, I walk in the door and see my 15 month-old grin ear to ear when he sees me, and that makes everything worthwhile.

Situation Excellent! I am attacking!

2005-06-23T18:30:00.000-07:00

And it is with those lines that I open my new blog. As I think about all the things that I might rant on, I may as well start with the current hierarchy. Is it fair to attack our fearless leader and the state of our nation in this way? I say, repeat after me: 1st Amendment. In these times, it's easy to forget that we have to the right to say or gather in any way we want, as long as it hurts no one. The Second Amendment, the right to bear arms, really has nothing to do with those who own guns in this country currently, unless they all have served in the military. Our constitution is being mangled as we speak, by a president who is either a supreme nincompoop or the most devious schemer ever seen. Beware the right-wing radical who wants to seize power. He and his cronies will lead us straight down the path to Hell.

Food for thought:
We’re Not in Lake Wobegon Anymore
A Miserable Failure
Answers Please, Mr Bush